We build trust by embedding the IKEA key values in our way of communicating. Here are some methods to help you on the way.
Our approach
We strive for win/winThe purpose of dialogue is to develop new understanding and insights, where 1+1 = 3. It assumes that we want to learn from each other and reach win/win. This creates commitment and action. It’s different compared to debates or discussions, which often result in win/lose or lose/lose.
We are humble and determined
We are humble and respectful. Everyone is important, everyone is heard. At the same time, we are determined towards the issue. Because that is how we get things done. To navigate between humbleness and determination, we listen and ask to explore the full range of needs, feelings and ideas.
Our purpose of dialogue is 1+1 = 3
Tools and methods
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By being attentive, open and curious we learn from our customers, colleagues and suppliers. In our teams we listen to each person’s point of view. It’s about first listening to understand, then talking to be understood.
The more conscious we are on where we have our attention, the better we listen.- Listen to speak – it’s all about me. Our focus is at confirming our own thoughts and what we will say next.
- Listen to hear – it’s all about you. Our focus is at the other person. We listen curiously. It’s not about right or wrong. It just is.
- Listen to understand – we listen with all our senses (body, tone, feelings) and hear what is not being said.
First listen, then talk
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Open questions
Open questions clarify. They start with words like “what”, “how”, “who” or “when”.- How do you mean…?
- Tell me more about…
Questions that explore needs
- What do you want to happen?
- What’s the best/worst that could happen?
Questions that explore feelings
- How do you feel about that?
- What happened to make you feel that way?
Questions that explore both/and
- If the speaker talks only about facts, ask about feelings.
- If the speaker talks only about feelings, ask for facts.
- If the speaker uses generalities, ask for examples.
Be curious and ask questions
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A simple way to alter between listening and asking questions is to “double click”. Like when we double click on a folder or a link, we can also “double click” on words our colleague express to go deeper in our conversation.
Double click on words and go deeper in your conversation
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Most of us are trained to look for what doesn’t work, and therefore we often respond to new ideas with “Yes, but…”. The issue is that “but” is exclusive and eliminates ideas. It’s like subtraction and division.
Instead “And” is inclusive and keeps the interaction going. It’s like addition and multiplication. When we use “Yes, and …”, we become less attached to our own ideas and more open to other possibilities. This way we grow and develop. Both as people and as an organisation.Turn "but" to "and"
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When we behave in reactive ways, we look more at the negative. We complain, assume more, look at the problem, feel like a victim and have little excitement. Our body language is more closed and we are more resistant.
When we are more creative, we see things more positive. We don’t give up our own idea or opinion. But we accept differences by appreciating diversity, we find it easier to see alternatives, to find better ways, and our body language is more open and approachable.Download ImageCopy link Copied Link Successfully copied link
To navigate between humbleness and determination, we listen and ask to explore the full range of needs, feelings and ideas
Exercises
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- Purpose: To build on each other by practicing “Yes, and…”
- Time and group: 10 min; work in pairs
- Instruction: Conduct a conversation where you plan a vacation and where you always start with the line: “Yes, and what I like about that is…”. There are no limits on budget, practicalities or laws of physics.
- Debrief: What are your key learnings?
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- Purpose: To practice creative communication
- Time and group: 10 min; work in pairs
- Instruction: Ask the pairs to create two reactive statements (or to pick from above table) and turn them into creative statements.
- Debrief: What are your key learnings?
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Sources
Gina Hayden, Becoming a conscious leader, 2016Wheelan, S.A. The handbook of group research and practice, 2005